On forgiveness and freedom

Do not speak to me of sorry and forgiveness. I am not interested in any kind of energetic exchange at that level.

I am more interested in fierce, truth-telling, all-seeing love.

That’s the kind of love that says…
~ You are free.
~ You don’t owe me anything.
~ There is absolutely nothing that I want, expect or need from you.
~ Thank you for being my teacher.

It’s the same fierce love that says…
~ I am free.
~ I don’t owe you anything.
~ There is absolutely nothing I can say or do that would transform your experience in any meaningful way. Your resolution will come in you facing you, on your own.
~ I am grateful for the growth. It has blessed me with clarity and strength–in voice and boundaries.

But know this. In my freedom and growth, I am no longer a friendly space for secrets, entitlement, manipulation, control or gas-lighting.

I get it. I understand that all of these are expressions of your own deep wounding and pain. I have compassion. I really do. But here’s the thing — I can’t heal that for you. Only you can. The most supportive thing I can do for both of us is to say, “You don’t get access to me. Not when you bring all of that with you.”

Hard-won wisdom, when it comes down to it, always surprises me in its simplicity. It’s taken half a century of peeling the layers to come to this moment. I am no longer willing to participate in my own oppression.

Of course, it is never really over. There is always more growth, more expanded perspectives. We are never done. Surely, I am not fully liberated from self oppression.

Yet, in this moment, I declare this cycle complete.

With my voice and with this boundary.

And so it is.

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  • Reply Kate January 18, 2017 at 4:21 am

    I feel like bowing, like cheering, like putting my hand on my heart, reading this. Thank you! The clarity of your words and vision helps me so much. I, too, am shedding another layer of self-oppression. I feel the possibility of the larger freedom you describe and it is bracing and enlivening and exciting!

    • Reply Elizabeth January 18, 2017 at 6:29 am

      I’m so glad to hear. What a huge process it can be, but oh so worth every effort. Keep on keepin’ on! You are so worth it!

  • Reply imajbet222.com August 4, 2017 at 4:41 am

    Empathy, Forgiveness and Freedom The Buddha said the wise all share something in common.

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